When I was a kid some kids had stolen a big Butterball turkey from Dallas' Supermarket or the A&P store. I'm not condoning them stealing the turkey but you have to admire their entrepreneurship.
These boys, all of 9 or 10 years old, decided to make money with the stolen turkey. They charged everyone a nickle to enter a contest and the winner got the turkey. To win you had to prove that your pecker was bigger than everyone Else's. (Apparently Larry Flynt grew up in Massey Hill).
It was close to Thanksgiving so I went home told my mother "Momma, I'm going to win you a turkey."
Momma smiled and said "That sure is sweet son. How are you going to win a turkey?"
I said "They're having a contest behind Woody's Cleaners and the boy with the biggest pee-pee wins a turkey."
Momma gasped and yelled "Son, what is wrong with you? I don't want you up there pulling your pants down showing off all your ding-dong!"
I said "Momma, I ain't going to pull it all out. Just enough to win the turkey"